One of the things we were hoping to do whilst we're in Vegas is play in a tournament in every card room in town. Inevitably though, much of our time has been taken up stalking the big names to bring you the best WSOP coverage. Time is of no relevance here and plans are rarely stuck to. It's just how it is.

Our organised editor had pre-arranged an evening out to see comedian Lewis Black at the MGM Grand, so there was no turning up 'whenever', if at all, which would be the norm.

Black was disappointing, sloppy and not that funny. Maybe he presumed all the audience were sick stupid gamblers who were only there because they'd lost so much coinage in the slots. Wrong, Lewis. We were a party of sick stupid gamblers who'd actually coughed up our own hard-earned dosh to listen to your hackneyed Vegas-lite set. We did drink ridiculous sickly cocktails out of giant golden goblets though, so it wasn't an entirely wasted trip.

Wanting to salvage something from the night, we headed over to The Luxor for their midnight $60 tourney. Rather than waste your time reading this and giving you false hope that it might be worth making a trip there, I'll cut straight to the chase. Don't go there. Ever. Tutankhamun would probably turn over in his tomb if he ever had the misfortune to play in their card room, although I hear he does love a soft game.

In fact, calling it a tournament is probably entering the realms of hyperbole. The huge demand of players lining up to participate ran to a whopping one table, with three alternates. Why not have two tables then? Apparently it's much better to let people join when they've got about two blinds left and really put the pedal on the lack of skill play.

The lack of randomness in the seat draw placed all our party of four next to each other, and when Sideshow Bob took over the dealing duties, he repeatedly dealt mine and Dave's cards on top of each other. In keeping with the decor, the cards themselves looked like they could be genuine freshly excavated relics. They were faded and different shades of blue, and if we'd cared enough we'd have tried to memorise which was which. Being the cantankerous types we are, we far preferred tutting at one another in disapproval at how shonky a place it was.

For an extra $3, we got another couple of hundred chips, but even that didn't help when the blinds went up from 100/200 to 200/500. 200/500? Why's that? "So they can go up to 500/1000 next". Eh?

Dave was the short-stack but managed an impressive Lazarus-like comeback to chop first place with an Irish Laddies player. We won't be going back there and I suggest you follow suit.

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